


MY IMMORTAL SIDLESMITH EDITION

by untakenbeepun



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: Other, why the fuck did I do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16742482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untakenbeepun/pseuds/untakenbeepun
Summary: i'm going to delete this





	MY IMMORTAL SIDLESMITH EDITION

**Author's Note:**

> this is not nearly as funny as i meant it to be

AN: special fangz (geddit cuz I’m goffik) to the discord crew for encouraging this monstrosity

Hi, my name is Drew Raven Lord Vinyl Morghulis The Third, and I’m radio host (that’s how I got my name). A lot of people tell me I look like Anderson Cooper (AN: if you u don’t know who he is then get the fuk out of here). I’m a centaur, but my skin is pale and white. I’m also a journalist, and I go to a magic campus called Sidlesmith in America where I’m my second year (I’m twenty.) (AN: I don’t know how American universities work). I’m a hipster goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black, only listen to music you’ve never heard of.  Today I wasn’t wearing a shirt to show off my rippling centaur abs with fishnets pulled over my horse hooves. I was walking outside Sidlesmith. It was raining hard, so there was no sun. A squirrel ate my sandwich. I put my middle finger up at it.

I clopped to the radio booth (because I’m a radio host). My new co-star was late so i was very mad about that.

“hey drew!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was...... RAV.

“my names rav but most people call me vampire these days.” He grumbled.

“why?” I exclaimed.”

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” He giggled.

“Well, I am a centaur.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

 Rav was really sexy but I’m a tsundere so I had to mean to him.

“fuk u rav.” I said.

“actually my name is Harrison.”

“fuk u harrison.” 

After the show hal pulled me aside.

“OMFG” she said. “I saw you talking to Harrison”

“yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“do you like Harrison?” she asked as we clopped out of the radio booth into the hallway.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed.

Next week, Harrison walked up to me.

“hi.” He said.

“hi.” I replied flirtily.

“my name is rocky now.” He said. “I brought you samoas.”

He took a samoa from his bag and smashed it in my face.

"drew we can’t be together unless we find the sidlesmith valentine.” He said sadly.

“lets find the sidlesmith valentine.”

We clopped around campus into the library stacks. Harrison was wearing an mcr tshirt.

“oh my god Harrison mcr is like my favourite band. Gerard way is a major fucking hottie.”

Harrison looked sad suddenly.

“don’t worry, I don’t like him better than YOU.”

“really,” asked Harrison all sensitive.

“yeah. I don’t even know Gerard.”

Harrisons eyes were shining. The night was going really well until we found a......................SIDLESMITH CONTRACT.

Harrison ran away crying tears of blood down his pallid face.

“Harrison wait” I ran after him. “I luv u!”  

Harrison had already gone.

I clopped back to the sidlesmith sock hop to do the radio show. There were a lot of preps which I was very mad about.

“Harrison.” I said into the microphone. I started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by good charlotte.

Harrison burst into the radio booth.

“what the fucking hell?” I asked sexily.

“Drew” he asked.

“what?” I snapped.

Harrison leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing colour contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow.

And then.... suddenly just as I Harrison kissed me passionately. Harrison climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly on the radio desk. He took the fishnets of my hooves and I took of his mcr shirt. 

Then he put his thingy in my you know what and we did it for the first time.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was..........................................................................................TRUSTEE LONGWORTH!


End file.
